I wasn't sure I would be back...

The past year brought so many good things. Amazing, soul lightening, beautiful things.
A wedding, a step daughter (so that makes FIVE daughters!) amazing growth in our business, new friends, and... A baby!!
Well not quite yet. BLT and I got married last April. It was perfect. Everything I could have dreamed of. It was intimate, romantic, colorful, and whimsical all at the same time. It may be the only wedding where Dr Seuss and Kermit the Frog were both quoted - and there was heckling and audience participation to the extent that we all laughed until we cried.
By July I was pregnant, and our little one is due just two weeks before our 1st anniversary. We are stunned to have found out recently that this little blessing is a boy. After five girls we are thrilled, but I won't lie, I'm kind of scared shitless at the idea. We have about 15 weeks until he makes his appearance and it still brings me to a halt and causes a little trickle of panic in the back of my mind if I really stop to think about it. I have no experience raising boys. I have no nephews. Dear God please don't less me screw him up.
With all the good has, naturally, come the bad. That has kept me away from my blog here more than anything I think. While sharing positive news is fun and uplifting - well the negative is harder to dwell on and to share. This Summer, at the same time our son was conceived I lost my Papa J. Even now, all these months later I'm sobbing while typing. It's a huge, gaping hole in the lives of my kids and I. It hurts. A lot. He knew he was dying and we all got to say goodbye. And then, in 24 hours, a man I loved my whole life was gone and his absence is so keenly felt I just don't have any words to adequately express what I'm feeling.
Managing and maneuvering through my own grief has been hard. Doing the same for my children has been a gut wrenching experience.
But we are here. We celebrate our victories. We still cry over our losses. There is love, and laughter, and new life around us - and we carry on.
I think I'm ready to stop hiding from it all and get back to recording what I'm feeling. It's less raw now most days.
I wanted to hold the good close and keep it private. Like a warm protective blanket. To just relish in this family BLT and I created and to selfishly keep all that joy to ourselves.
I also wanted to avoid the pain of putting into words, of seeing it in the harsh black and white on the screen, that Papa is gone. Thinking that as his life ended this new one came into being should feel like a blessing, but it doesn't. More than anything I wish he could have met his only grandson. I would have loved for my son to know the gentle, renaissance man that he will be named after. It will forever be one of my regrets. But I am ready to share the burden of that grief in some way. Perhaps doing so will help ease this broken heart I'm still carrying inside me.

Cause I'm cool like that

Groupon had a deal for beer tasting.  BLT and I really don't indulge in too many date nights or extras in regards to entertainment - not with five kids to support!  So I knew that this would be right up his alley.

I decided to go for it since it's only 15.00.

For our next date night we'll be going to a local brewery where we will each get to sample five different beers, share an order of pomme fritte or nachos, take home two "collector" pilsner glasses and a 22 oz custom brewed bottle of their ale.

Now I'll be honest, I don't like too many types of beer.  I really enjoy a nice light beer with a citrus kick to it - like Blue Moon.  Otherwise I'm not a huge fan.  BLT on the other hand digs himself a good beer... dark, amber, pale, import...  he appreciates them all. So I knew he would really love this.  I figure he can drink the samples I don't like and and I'll drive home!  Win-Win!

Cause that's the cool kinda Fiance' that I am!  Date night baby... bring it on!

Fraggle Time

BLT went back home to visit his parents and spend time with Fraggle.  While he was there he had a long talk with the grandparents about Fraggle coming to stay with us for an extended visit.  He also made it clear that this was the first step towards her coming to live with us for good.

They were cooperative.  They were receptive.  They were actually really supportive!  YAY!!  We now have a plan.  Forward momentum feels SO good! They love Fraggle to death, but they are in their 60's raising a 3 year old.  It's exhausting!

BLT is starting school this month.  He's going to be taking some networking and computer classes at night so that he can more easily play "I.T." nerd here at work and maintain our network and website for us.  We won't be able to get down there for a visit for several months between school and trade shows.

In December BLT, all four of my girls and I will be going down to spend the week of Christmas with BLT's family.  When we come back we will bring Fraggle with us for the entire month of January!  We are all really excited!

In April Fraggle with have another extended visit with us after the wedding, and we will then decide the best way to transition her here with us full time at that point. 

I'm so happy that we're going to all be a family together.  Fraggle goes from being an only child to having four siblings.  She goes from living in a fairly quiet, adult only home with her grandparents to a busy household of kids and dogs too!  It's going to be a transition for everyone.... we know that.  Five kids is a lot of work.  But it's also a lot of love, a lot of support, and a lot of opportunity for growth for all of us.

Whew...  I heard a quote once; "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."  That seems to apply here pretty damn well!

Thank You Universe!

The entire world will be a richer place once you marry an amazing man and have a beautiful future and have your romantic love affair.

We knew this when we helped you pick your dreams.

So let's get cracking,
    The Universe

It's the little things

I think it's the little things that make up a good relationship.  My X was good at grand gestures.  Over the top displays of expensive gifts or trips... or whatever was easy and impressive.  He excelled at looking generous while actually exerting no forethought and very little work. 

But when it came to the day to day things he was a wreck.  He didn't seem to understand that I didn't want a new diamond bracelet - I wanted someone to help me with our four kids.  I didn't need a new, bigger house.  I needed respect. 

BLT on the other hand is all about the little things.  It's just in his nature.  He is considerate.  He is hard working.  He listens.  It's the way he always places his hand on the small of my back when we're out together... it's comforting.  It's the way he carries all my stuff out to the car for me in the morning, or scrapes the frost off my windows before he leaves for work.  It's that he knows what my favorite band is, or what movie I will like on TV.  He gets me... he knows my moods. 

Life is made up of millions of little moments, and all those little things add up to so much more than an occasional lavish gift with no forethought put into it.  It's a sweet kiss goodnight, or a warm cup of coffee first thing in the morning.  It's reading different books and telling each other all about them.  It having someone to hold you at night and listening to their heart beat as you fall asleep.  It's about laughing and joking, and staying up all night talking about your future.  It's about the way he'll order dessert and split it with you just because he knows you want some and don't want to feel guilty about it.

I could live the whole rest of my life without another piece of fancy jewelry, or a luxury vacation.... but I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to a life without BLT.  My life is so much better with him in it.

I said Yes....

It was perfect... 

An overnight stay in a luxury hotel. A concert outdoors in the evening.  An exquisite dinner, and back in our suite a tender, sincere request to grow old with me and to make a family with my kids and I.  He picked out the perfect ring and it's exactly what I would choose for myself if I had every ring to choose from.

I cried...  I asked, "are you sure?"  and then when he was done laughing at me he gave me the sweetest kiss I've ever received.

How could I say no?  I love this amazing man.

Happiness, Take II

This weekend will be BLT and my second anniversary. 

Wow - two years and he's still here?  I jokingly asked him if he realized I had FOUR kids... that none of them really belonged to the neighbors even if they did spend half their time over there! He said he was aware... so what can I do? The damn fool, LOL!

I think my oldest, Chef, summed it up well.  Chef and I went for a walk last week and during a semi serious conversation where Chef asked me why I had stayed married to the X for so many years when he wasn't nice to us (wow, was that a hard one to put into words... sometimes I don't know myself.  That was a pretty deep, honest conversation to have with your teenager)  Shortly after that conversation Chef said, "BLT must REALLY love you mom, cause uh.. well we're just a lot."  lol... Chef didn't elaborate on what we (the four kids and I) were a lot of.  I think it's just that we're a lot of everything in general!  LOL... a lot of noise, expense, emotions and work.  We're a lot of energy and on occasion having so many females in one house means we are a lot of drama.  Yep we're "a lot" to be sure.

So here we are... two years after starting our relationship, over seven years as friends.  I can't think of anywhere else I would want to be, or anyone else I would want to be with.  I'm very lucky to have a second chance at happiness.

Love Is...

Love is finding that special person who thinks your quirks are endearing instead of irritating as hell.

I found him...

He loves the matching bra and panties.  He appreciates the order of my closets.  He laughs about my food issues. He tells me my shoes are sexy. He loads the dishwasher the way I like.  He smiles and looks the other way when I refold the towels, and he ALWAYS closes the closet door for me now without me having to ask. 

What do you love about me?

It's a question I've wanted to ask BLT for awhile now. What do you love about me, exactly?


He tells me that I treat him better than anyone else he's ever dated. Is that love? Or are you just appreciative because all your former girl friends have been less than stellar? I mean it has to be more than that if it's going to last.


He tells me all the time how hot I am. And not just in the heat of the moment, BLT excels at showing me how beautiful he finds me. Which of course I love to hear....I am a woman after all. But beauty fades, we all know that.


So other than being hot and kind what is it? What has convinced him that we can make it for the long haul? I mean, I know exactly why I love him. His sense of humor, his appreciation of the little things in life, the fact that he's one of the most considerate people I've ever met. He's a good friend, and he's kind to his siblings and parents. He is patient with my girls, and he knows how to mix having fun with being a good role model for them. He makes me feel sexy. He says he's sorry if he makes mistakes, and he's an amazing listener.


I feel like an ass if I come right out and ask him. I don't want him to think I'm fishing for compliments - because that's not what it's about. I just want to know what he's feeling, what he's thinking. I need to know that it's real.


Does that make me needy? Ugh, I HATE needy people and I don't want to be that person.

Do you believe in Happily Ever After?

Do you believe two people can love, respect, and honor each other for their whole lives?

Do you think that it's possible to have passionate monogamous sex with one person forever?

Is there really a Happily Ever After, or is it just a fairy tale we're sold as children... and unrealistic expectation to even strive for?

I want to believe...I really do.

I love it when he...

Sings out loud in car.
Washes my back in the shower.
Talks about his daughter with total love and devotion.
Unconsciously pulls me towards him in the middle of the night.
Holds the door open for me.
Puts things into perspective.
Tucks my little ones in for the night.
Tells me that I'm beautiful.
Cooks with me.
Slides his tongue across my bare shoulders.
Helps me clean the house without complaining.
Listens to the stories of my past and doesn't judge me.
Lets me sleep in.
Opens up and tells me his most personal and intimate secrets.
Makes me laugh when I need it the most.

In so many ways he's the man I've always wanted in my life. He's not perfect, but he's such a good, strong, loving man. Sometimes I find myself looking for problems. I look for the imperfections because deep down I know he's the only man I've ever given the power to break my heart, and I get scared.

He said, "You're going to marry me someday"

Someday, maybe... maybe not.

Is it terrible that he can say something like that to me and my first response is..."well MAYBE, maybe someday...."

He loves me. He's so confident in our future together. It's me that has all the fears and the trepidation in regards to marriage. I mean really - it's not that shocking considering the fact that it was only 11 months ago that my X went bat shit crazy and tried to shoot me.

I'm so happy with the way things are at the moment. It feels right. The kids are happy, I'm loved and feel safe and satisfied in the relationship we have exactly as it is. I don't want to screw that up. He's of the opinion that living together is trying to have your cake and eat it too, and that if I'm committed to him then he wants the whole enchilada - rings, vows, and all. He's willing to wait until I'm on board, but he's sure it's going to happen. How can he be so sure? What if we are a horrible married couple? What if we suddenly feel trapped? What if we get bored of each other or the sex starts to suck?

He's never been married. I don't think he realizes how much control and how much of your yourself you give up when you take that step. It's not about how much I love him - because that is not in doubt for me at all. It's about not loosing myself ever again. I did that once, and it was the worst feeling of my life.

He wants to give the kids a "real" family. I want to show them that you don't have to do something just because its conventional. He wants to know I'm committed to him. I want him to accept that I'm his - good times or bad and we don't need a piece of paper from the state to prove it. He wants to take care of me. I want him to know I'm strong and able of taking care of myself.

Is he unrealistic? Am I too pessimistic? Is there a way to meet in the middle? I can honestly say that this is the first time in my adult life I feel that I'm truly in love. And I love him for all the right reasons - not out of fear of being alone, or a desire to have someone take care of me. It's not about looking for the "American Dream" or feeling pressured in any way. It's about me loving the person that he is, loving who we are as a couple. It's the fact that I'm a better person when he's around. He grounds me, makes me feel calm. I'm a better mother to my girls. It's about our chemistry together - amazing sex, open communication, and finding someone who understands me.

So if that's the case, why am I afraid? Does it mean there's something wrong that I can't admit to myself? I can't figure out why the idea of marrying this AMAZING, loving, strong, sexy, talented, respectful, hard working man of my dreams scares the snot out of me!

Our sexy, swanky weekend

I've been trying to think of something special to do for BLT. He is a musician, and a huge Sinatra fan, so when I heard Steve Tyrell was playing at Jazz Alley I knew I had to get tickets. His bio listed him as "a Grammy award winning, Sinatra-esque style" performer.

What a PERFECT evening. The music was amazing, and the venue so intimate and sexy it was impossible not to leave there feeling romantic. Dim lights, small tables set around the stage, amazing food and wines, impeccable service, and a cool jazz club vibe that lent itself to hushed conversation and long, knowing glances.

There wasn't a bad seat in the house, but we lucked out and got the best seats available in my opinion. We ended up center stage, four tables back from the stage. Not so close you had to crane your neck to watch, but close enough to feel like he was singing to you alone. There wasn't anything distracting or tacky going on either. Just a stage with a mic, a base player, guitarist, and a pianist on a baby grand piano. Intimate is really the only word to describe it.


We enjoyed our drinks and dinner before the show, then shared a decadent chocolate dessert during the performance. Afterwards we walked back to our hotel in the warm night air, taking our time and holding hands. Just sort of lingering in the moment. When we got back BLT gave me a special gift he picked out for me. Small, lovely ruby stud earrings. Nothing extravagant, it's not his style - but something beautiful and special that he picked out just for me. He knows me so well, and I adore them.

We spent the rest of the evening, and into the early morning hours loving each other, making promises and saying, with words and without, all the things we needed to say. We slept in late, walked to our favorite cafe for breakfast and headed back into town to get the kids.

I don't think I've ever had such an amazing weekend. It was everything I was hoping for, and I can't think of anyone I would rather have shared the experience with.

Romantic Getaway

Tomorrow I'm dropping the kids off at my former in laws house for an overnight visit. BLT and I will be going to Jazz Alley to have dinner and see a "Sinatra-esque" style, grammy award winning singer. BLT loves him some Sinatra, and this is a nice swanky place for a date. I've picked up a pretty, strapless dress on clearance to wear, and something a tad naughty to go underneath it. I think he'll approve ;)

I booked us a hotel room a few blocks away, so we can both have a few drinks and not worry about who's driving home. Plus, home is about two hours away, and I didn't relish the long drive late at night.

Now we can stroll back to the hotel in the warm night air, undress each other and have some lovely hotel sex...yummy!

He makes me fall in love with him all over again

I'm not sure how he does it. Watching him hold my child in his arms next to the fire on the fourth of July touched a place in my heart that's been asleep for a long time. Wispering in her ear, making her giggle, letting her snuggle into his chest until she falls asleep, carrying her upstairs and tucking her in as though she were the most precious of creatures....

How do I not love a man like that?

Men and Woman Do NOT Speak the Same Language!

Wow... maybe that whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing has some merit. Last night on the drive home from work BLT says that he's thinking of taking a drive. From there on we had an evening that was one big, giant miscommunication.

As I mentioned he was acting like some kind of bug flew up his ass, and he was short with the kids and with me. I went to the store, he apparently came upstairs and took a nap. Once I got home and got the kids fed he came down and said he was going to get a beer.

That turned into him disappearing for two hours, no call, no nothing. I jumped to the conclusion that he was unhappy. I took his disappearance and his mood personally. All the signs I were reading lead me to believe I had done something wrong and he was angry with me, or the kids, or simple just regretting his decision to move here with us.

In man land he felt like he had already told me he wanted a drive, so when he went for a beer he decided to drive for awhile first. He didn't turn on his phone because the point of a long drive for him is to be left alone so he can decompress and work stuff out in his head. It didn't occur to him that I was sitting at home wondering if he hit a deer and was in a ditch someplace, or that he found some hot little (childless) thing to spend the evening with and he was trying to figure out how to tell me he wasn't coming home! (Insecurity is NOT sexy, I know this. Trust me, I hate myself for feeling this way from time to time...)

I think part of my insecurity about BLT deciding I'm not worth it comes from my X. When we were splitting he asked me if I knew what I wanted. I told him I wanted someone who was happy with his life, who was interesting and fun, and had a rich life he wanted to share with me... not someone who needed me to make him happy. My X looked at me and said, "why would someone like that want to share their life with YOU?" and you know what, that was the way he always made me feel. He never made me feel smart, or sexy, or worthwhile. It's like he wanted me feel thankful that he was willing to put up with me despite my shortcomings. There's a part of me, no matter how hard I try, that still feels like that sometimes. Like I'm not smart enough, or funny enough, or sexy enough for BLT to stick around.

So he comes home, sees me seething at my computer and asks me what's wrong. He's honestly confused, which kind of just makes me more upset. So I do that girl thing... I say, "nothing, everything is just fine" but I don't mean it, and he knows it.

Long story short... after about an hour of conversation he explains his side, I tell him I can't take it if he just disappears, he has to tell me, give me a basic timeline like; "Baby, I'm going for a drive to cool off, I'll be back in an hour or two. Don't worry if I don't answer my phone." I can deal with that, I can understand a need to be alone. I won't worry if I know you're coming home soon.

I explained my fears, he held me. He said the right things... he always says the right things. He loves me, he likes the kids. It's just an adjustment for him and he needs some quiet. He's used to being alone, and this is a busy, noisy house...something very new for him. He apologized and we both promised to be better at communicating with each other. The only thing he asked of me was that I never say things are fine when they aren't.

He would rather have me yell at him than be fake. I can deal with that.

I thought we were okay...

I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused. BLT seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and he's been short with me and cranky all day.

I was going to take all of us out to have Mexican food for dinner and on the way home he said, "do you really think that's a good idea?" and he explained that he felt bitchy and cranky. So even though I'm exhausted I went to the store and picked stuff up, came home and made dinner. I brought in the groceries by myself, and he came down to inform me he was going to run to the store to get a beer.

Well that was an hour ago. No call to say where he's going or when he'll come back.

What the hell flew up his butt? What did I do? There's a part of me that's been waiting around, holding my breath for something like this to happen. For him to wake up one day and decide this is all just not worth it. I'm not worth it.... my kids are small hellions on occasion, and with one sick, one who's erupted into a snarky tween it's not always fun around here. I get that.

On one hand I can't blame him. I'm scared of my life some days, it's too much to handle for me, and I'm their mother, how can I expect ANYONE to want this?

Yesterday I felt so very loved and understood...today I'm just confused, and honestly I'm scared he's finally come to his senses. Add to that the weight I've gained recently and, well... I just feel like shit tonight.

That's Life

I have been having an interesting week so far. BLT got home on Monday afternoon. I was SO excited for him to get in that work just dragged by that day. I got home, and he was napping in bed. It was clear he missed me as much as I missed him. I've never been with anyone before who can turn me on with just a look. It doesn't matter if we live together now or not. Four days apart and you would think we hadn't made love in weeks. It was frantic and passionate and still sweet and tender all at the same time. I'm constantly amazed at the range of emotion he can draw out of me.

The newest drama in my life is that my car is in the shop as of Tuesday morning because I no longer have properly working power steering.... that will cost me $355.00 bucks I don't have.

Lady Bug has a Dr. appt. in the morning, and I have an appointment for my bikini wax on Friday evening, so being without a car for "several days, not exactly sure how long it'll take to get the parts in" is very inconvenient. BLT and I carpooled today, but his vehicle isn't large enough for all the kids so we were shuffling quite a bit.

I went and picked up a rental car, wow...what a piece of crap that thing is. All I can afford is the super economy version so ya... it's neither big enough, nor is is comfortable in any sense of the word - but at least I can get to our appointments this week and BLT doesn't miss more work playing chauffeur.

I went running today and it was good! Walked .25 of a mile, then ran 2 full miles, and then walked almost another .25 to cool down before walking home. My foot held up really well, and my knee is only moderately sore.

I came home, made spaghetti for dinner, had some very fun and very dirty shower sex with BLT and I feel fan-freakin-tastic. Like a crazy lady I'll be getting up early to work out before work tomorrow. BLT wants to loose a few pounds and he thinks getting up early will be easier for him than being motivated after work...so I'll support his endeavor and get up with him at the ass crack of dawn to work out before we get the kids up and head to work. Now that is love....

A good man is hard to find

Seriously... it seems that a good, hardworking, kind man is national treasure. Even my married friends are not very happy these days. It's like an epidemic of inconsideration. I look at my parents, and I know in my heart that two people can love each other their whole lives.... and yet I see so many marriages around me falling apart. I see so many dad's not living up to their responsibilities to their wives, or their kids, or themselves. They take the easy way, or they spend more time complaining about being unhappy than doing anything about it.

I am blessed, with a capital B, to have my dad in my life. I was a year old when my parents met - it was a blind date. He came to my mom's place for dinner and pretty much never left. Mom says it was her meatloaf, dad says it was me :)

He is a strong man, a loving man, a hardworking man. He is also a stubborn ass on occasion, but that's because he's a real father and not a television sitcom dad. He isn't perfect, but he's amazing none the less. This past year he's held us up with his love, support, and faith that there is something better out there for the girls and I. He's given me everything in his power to give, and never asked for anything but my love in return.

I really wish my kids had a father like that, but they simply don't. I can't see him having some sudden revelation while in prison either. He's lazy. He doesn't like to get his hands dirty, literally and figuratively. He even said to Ethel last year, "I never wanted kids, I just agreed to have them to make her happy." This was right before he told Ethel our children weren't enough to live for... what an asshole!

My children are lucky to have Uncle Fred though. He's Ethel's hubby, and my kids love him like family. They are also lucky enough to have my brother, my father, and another grandpa in their life to be positive male role models. BLT has been wonderful to them. He's kind, he's involved, he listens and hangs out with them, but he also calls them out when they misbehave. He backs me up when I need it, and he doesn't put up with the kids being disrespectful. I love this about him. He tempers his low key, good time "friend" mode with a strong male, no funny business mode when necessary. I actually find it very sexy to be honest.

BLT went back home for four days. He's going to spend Father's Day with his own father and his child. He's hanging out with friends, and getting the last load of his stuff left in storage. It's a little break from each other and some personal time for him. I've missed him like crazy, and I've thought about him a lot today. He's a wonderful father, son, friend, and boyfriend.

I can't wait for him to get home Monday night... as the saying goes; A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is good to find! I bought some sexy undies for his return. I plan on showing him just how much I love and appreciate him! Oh baby, only 24 hours and he'll be home!

Lonely No More

BLT and I took a little drive into town today and along the way we discussed loneliness. In the past several years we've both felt intense loneliness. For him it was being surrounded by friends, but not having met anyone special that he connected with on a romantic level. He had a house full of single room mates and there was always someone there to grab a beer with or watch a movie...but he didn't have anyone to confide his fears to, anyone to make love to, anyone to share his hopes and dreams with. He wasn't alone, but he was lonely. Dating occasionally wasn't anything special, and sex was more a complication than an expression of love.

For me, well it was different but very much the same story. I had the kids, but X worked out of town a lot. Nearly 20 days out of the month sometimes he was off in some other corner of the country schmoozing clients. I was left to do the mommy job all alone. I didn't have time to socialize, and nearly all my friends had been alienated by his social awkwardness and outright anti-social attitude towards people. When he was home I avoided him. I didn't like him or myself when I was with him. He made me feel anxious and tense and irritable. There wasn't any romantic feelings left on my part for several years, and I avoided sex for years since I simply wasn't in love with him any longer.

Plus... to be honest... there was little to no sexual attraction to begin with. That was never really a part of the equation for me. I married young to have stability and because I thought a nice house, a family, and financial security would bring me total satisfaction and a sense of belonging I had been looking for my whole life. Over the years X had gained a lot of weight...as had I. But I got my ass to the gym, started eating healthy and eventually lost nearly 60 lbs. No matter how hard I tried X wouldn't exercise with me, he wouldn't eat healthy, he blew off all my efforts at helping him shape up... and in the end I just didn't care any more. He didn't give a shit, why should I? If he didn't care, fine... but why should I force myself to have unfulfilling sex with a balding, overweight, lazy piece of work who didn't even treat me well when he was home?

So... I was lonely. Surrounded by people who all wanted and needed my attention, and still feeling the most basic human need for companionship and love wasn't being met. It was a horrible feeling. I think this is one of the things that pulled BLT and I together. We recognized in one another someone who understood what true loneliness was, and right or wrong we filled a deep need in each other. Like two starving people, we were each the food the other needed to survive.

And we have survived, and thrived. We are both really happy right now. Admittedly we are in that "honeymoon" phase where none of our annoying habits are, as of yet, annoying. But we really are enjoying working and living together. We have come up against an issue here or there, and we've talked it out. We're working on keeping up the honest, open, and kind communication. We are making time for ourselves as a couple, time with the kids, time alone for some space and personal freedom.

Neither one of us is foolish enough to think that this will always be smooth sailing, but we're very much in love. Having been so lonely in the past, and then having our relationship start off as a long distance/who knows where this will lead/God I miss you SOOO much kind of thing - well it makes us appreciate the time we have together. It makes us thankful that life worked out so that we can be together. It makes us sensitive to the needs of the other person. All good things, all key components to a successful relationship. Every day I wake up, I reach over to him, I breath in his scent and I'm so thankful he's here. I hope that feeling never goes away.