I'm not one to spend a lot of time thinking about the things I don't have. I'm more of a "here and now" kinda girl. That being said, I have a little wish list started of things I want for myself. They aren't all things, some of them are experiences, or less tangible - more intrinsic type things.
I want to see NYC
I want to go on an Alaskan Cruise
I want to learn to cook authentic Italian food
I want to loose 15 lbs (hmmm... might be harder with that Italian food... lol)
I want to repair my credit and buy a house of my own
I want to see the Smithsonian
I want to take a photography class
I want to learn relaxation techniques and/or Yoga in an effort to manage my PTSD symptoms
I want to plant a vegetable garden
I want to have a hot tub
See... It's not a big list. It's not a glamorous list. It doesn't involve luxury vacations or fame and fortune. It's simple things - but they are all things that feel very far away right now. Due to time, energy, money, focus, lifestyle... so many reasons... it just feels like all these things will be sitting on the back burner waiting for awhile.
I guess that's the good thing about dreams. They don't have expiration dates.
Showing posts with label Dream Come True. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dream Come True. Show all posts
Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Do you believe in Happily Ever After?
Do you believe two people can love, respect, and honor each other for their whole lives?
Do you think that it's possible to have passionate monogamous sex with one person forever?
Is there really a Happily Ever After, or is it just a fairy tale we're sold as children... and unrealistic expectation to even strive for?
I want to believe...I really do.
Do you think that it's possible to have passionate monogamous sex with one person forever?
Is there really a Happily Ever After, or is it just a fairy tale we're sold as children... and unrealistic expectation to even strive for?
I want to believe...I really do.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Simple Pleasures
A hot shower, home made Sheppard's pie for dinner, a soft kiss on my neck from the man I love, a good book, warm flannel pajamas, and tired muscles from a good workout.
Simple pleasures.
The past couple of weeks have been really emotional. Really hard. I get caught up sometimes in this big ocean of anger, guilt, and stress that I'm swimming in and I lose focus on the small things that give me such pleasure.
I don't want anyone, especially my kids and BLT, to think that I don't recognize or appreciate my blessings. I do, I honestly and truly do. If there is anything the past year has taught me it's that "things' are transitory and unimportant. I had a 400K dollar home. I had new cars, fancy vacations, expensive jewelry - even a housekeeper for awhile. None of it made me happy.
Now I have my little blue cottage, my kids, the love of a good man, and a job I'm proud of. I have the support and love of family and friends and I'm surrounded only by the things that are near and dear to my heart.
Vintage table clothes, a comfy garage sale chair, jeans that fit just right, Chef's chocolate chip cookies. Simple pleasures and someone to share them with. That's all I really need.
Simple pleasures.
The past couple of weeks have been really emotional. Really hard. I get caught up sometimes in this big ocean of anger, guilt, and stress that I'm swimming in and I lose focus on the small things that give me such pleasure.
I don't want anyone, especially my kids and BLT, to think that I don't recognize or appreciate my blessings. I do, I honestly and truly do. If there is anything the past year has taught me it's that "things' are transitory and unimportant. I had a 400K dollar home. I had new cars, fancy vacations, expensive jewelry - even a housekeeper for awhile. None of it made me happy.
Now I have my little blue cottage, my kids, the love of a good man, and a job I'm proud of. I have the support and love of family and friends and I'm surrounded only by the things that are near and dear to my heart.
Vintage table clothes, a comfy garage sale chair, jeans that fit just right, Chef's chocolate chip cookies. Simple pleasures and someone to share them with. That's all I really need.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Our sexy, swanky weekend
I've been trying to think of something special to do for BLT. He is a musician, and a huge Sinatra fan, so when I heard Steve Tyrell was playing at Jazz Alley I knew I had to get tickets. His bio listed him as "a Grammy award winning, Sinatra-esque style" performer.
What a PERFECT evening. The music was amazing, and the venue so intimate and sexy it was impossible not to leave there feeling romantic. Dim lights, small tables set around the stage, amazing food and wines, impeccable service, and a cool jazz club vibe that lent itself to hushed conversation and long, knowing glances.
There wasn't a bad seat in the house, but we lucked out and got the best seats available in my opinion. We ended up center stage, four tables back from the stage. Not so close you had to crane your neck to watch, but close enough to feel like he was singing to you alone. There wasn't anything distracting or tacky going on either. Just a stage with a mic, a base player, guitarist, and a pianist on a baby grand piano. Intimate is really the only word to describe it.
We enjoyed our drinks and dinner before the show, then shared a decadent chocolate dessert during the performance. Afterwards we walked back to our hotel in the warm night air, taking our time and holding hands. Just sort of lingering in the moment. When we got back BLT gave me a special gift he picked out for me. Small, lovely ruby stud earrings. Nothing extravagant, it's not his style - but something beautiful and special that he picked out just for me. He knows me so well, and I adore them.
We spent the rest of the evening, and into the early morning hours loving each other, making promises and saying, with words and without, all the things we needed to say. We slept in late, walked to our favorite cafe for breakfast and headed back into town to get the kids.
I don't think I've ever had such an amazing weekend. It was everything I was hoping for, and I can't think of anyone I would rather have shared the experience with.
What a PERFECT evening. The music was amazing, and the venue so intimate and sexy it was impossible not to leave there feeling romantic. Dim lights, small tables set around the stage, amazing food and wines, impeccable service, and a cool jazz club vibe that lent itself to hushed conversation and long, knowing glances.
There wasn't a bad seat in the house, but we lucked out and got the best seats available in my opinion. We ended up center stage, four tables back from the stage. Not so close you had to crane your neck to watch, but close enough to feel like he was singing to you alone. There wasn't anything distracting or tacky going on either. Just a stage with a mic, a base player, guitarist, and a pianist on a baby grand piano. Intimate is really the only word to describe it.
We enjoyed our drinks and dinner before the show, then shared a decadent chocolate dessert during the performance. Afterwards we walked back to our hotel in the warm night air, taking our time and holding hands. Just sort of lingering in the moment. When we got back BLT gave me a special gift he picked out for me. Small, lovely ruby stud earrings. Nothing extravagant, it's not his style - but something beautiful and special that he picked out just for me. He knows me so well, and I adore them.
We spent the rest of the evening, and into the early morning hours loving each other, making promises and saying, with words and without, all the things we needed to say. We slept in late, walked to our favorite cafe for breakfast and headed back into town to get the kids.
I don't think I've ever had such an amazing weekend. It was everything I was hoping for, and I can't think of anyone I would rather have shared the experience with.
Friday, April 23, 2010
I found my "forever house"
I have the most lovely story to tell you...
Once upon a time there was a young girl. She dreamed of her fairytale cottage. It would be blue and white. It would have a picket fence, a fire place, a vintage claw-foot bathtub, french doors that open onto a garden full of flowers, hardwood floors, and vintage glass knobs on the wood cabinets.
That girl grew up, she had babies, she bought her first house, and her second, and her third. Each house was nice...but it was never her dream cottage. Never a flower garden, nor a set of French doors to be had.
That woman gave up a lot of herself over the years. She let someone else determine her worth. She grew to not like herself very much, one by one she forgot about her dreams, but never forgot about that blue cottage. One day, many many years later that girl found herself alone. Now a single mother with four children she thought she would never be able to have that dream cottage of her own.
One sunny day this woman goes for a jog and like a vision from the past she sees her perfect house, her sweet baby blue and white bungalow. It's exists...and it's for sale. With a sad and heavy heart she realizes that some other person would soon buy that lovely home, for surely there is no way a single mother of four can afford to purchase it on her own.
For several months she jogs past that house every day, wishing, dreaming, and hoping that some day in the future it will come up for sale again and she'll be in a position to buy it. Spring rolls around and the woman needs to move her children from the tiny duplex they are living in.
She calls on every rental in town that she can afford, but each one is already leased out. There is only one rental left in town and it's several hundred dollars out of her budget. On a whim, with no real hope that it's an option, the woman calls the last listing. She speaks to the homeowner who describes the home - it would be perfect for her and her children. The woman asks if there is any negotiation room in the rental price. She explains that she is a single mom without any child support. The home owner was also a single mother, the homeowner says she'll lower to rent to what the woman can afford...what a blessing!!!
When the homeowner gives the woman the address the woman starts to shake. Her hands get sweaty and she gets light headed. It's the blue cottage!! The homeowner is stuck with two morgages, and she's willing to rent long term to the right family. She agrees to let the woman come and see the home that evening. They do a walk through and agree that on Monday the homeowner will email the woman a rental application, and if a long term lease works out, she will SELL the woman that house on a rent to own basis!!
The woman meets the homeowner for a tour. She opens the gate at the picket fence. She pauses on the thresh hold, spying the fire place, the gleaming hardwood floors, and the glass knobs on the maple kitchen cabinets. She feels a tear fall when she opens the French doors and sees the pond and gardens out back. Her heart starts to thump in her chest when she opens the bathroom door and a vintage claw foot tub is waiting there like an old friend.
The woman thanks the homeowner and practically skips back to the dingy, tiny two bedroom duplex they've been living in to tell her children that Mommy found a forever home. A nest of their very own they can fill with flowers and love, and happy memories.
The five of them hug, they cry a little, they celebrate with ice cream for dinner. The woman can hardly wait for Monday to sign the lease and get the keys to her dream come true.
Once upon a time there was a young girl. She dreamed of her fairytale cottage. It would be blue and white. It would have a picket fence, a fire place, a vintage claw-foot bathtub, french doors that open onto a garden full of flowers, hardwood floors, and vintage glass knobs on the wood cabinets.
That girl grew up, she had babies, she bought her first house, and her second, and her third. Each house was nice...but it was never her dream cottage. Never a flower garden, nor a set of French doors to be had.
That woman gave up a lot of herself over the years. She let someone else determine her worth. She grew to not like herself very much, one by one she forgot about her dreams, but never forgot about that blue cottage. One day, many many years later that girl found herself alone. Now a single mother with four children she thought she would never be able to have that dream cottage of her own.
One sunny day this woman goes for a jog and like a vision from the past she sees her perfect house, her sweet baby blue and white bungalow. It's exists...and it's for sale. With a sad and heavy heart she realizes that some other person would soon buy that lovely home, for surely there is no way a single mother of four can afford to purchase it on her own.
For several months she jogs past that house every day, wishing, dreaming, and hoping that some day in the future it will come up for sale again and she'll be in a position to buy it. Spring rolls around and the woman needs to move her children from the tiny duplex they are living in.
She calls on every rental in town that she can afford, but each one is already leased out. There is only one rental left in town and it's several hundred dollars out of her budget. On a whim, with no real hope that it's an option, the woman calls the last listing. She speaks to the homeowner who describes the home - it would be perfect for her and her children. The woman asks if there is any negotiation room in the rental price. She explains that she is a single mom without any child support. The home owner was also a single mother, the homeowner says she'll lower to rent to what the woman can afford...what a blessing!!!
When the homeowner gives the woman the address the woman starts to shake. Her hands get sweaty and she gets light headed. It's the blue cottage!! The homeowner is stuck with two morgages, and she's willing to rent long term to the right family. She agrees to let the woman come and see the home that evening. They do a walk through and agree that on Monday the homeowner will email the woman a rental application, and if a long term lease works out, she will SELL the woman that house on a rent to own basis!!
The woman meets the homeowner for a tour. She opens the gate at the picket fence. She pauses on the thresh hold, spying the fire place, the gleaming hardwood floors, and the glass knobs on the maple kitchen cabinets. She feels a tear fall when she opens the French doors and sees the pond and gardens out back. Her heart starts to thump in her chest when she opens the bathroom door and a vintage claw foot tub is waiting there like an old friend.
The woman thanks the homeowner and practically skips back to the dingy, tiny two bedroom duplex they've been living in to tell her children that Mommy found a forever home. A nest of their very own they can fill with flowers and love, and happy memories.
The five of them hug, they cry a little, they celebrate with ice cream for dinner. The woman can hardly wait for Monday to sign the lease and get the keys to her dream come true.
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