It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I want...

I'm wanting tonight. In so many little ways I'm wanting something. Someone mostly. I want my BLT to be here. I want some kissing, nice deep slow kissing. I want to slow dance, does that sound weird? I had this dream where the BLT and I were dancing to some slow, smokey jazz. One of those empty restaurant cliches where it's just the two of you.

My X would never dance with me. Even in highschool when we were dating he wouldn't dance with me. We didn't have music at our wedding because he didn't want to learn to dance.

I want someone who WANTS to dance with me. I want to feel our bodies pressed together, smell his skin, feel his hand on the small of my back. I just want to be wanted.

I'm feeling small and alone tonight. It was a rough day, emotionally, dealing with questions from my former inlaws. Dealing with bill collectors who think they'll manage to squeeze pennies from me with humiliation and unkind words.

I wish my BLT was here so I could just escape for a little while. When he touches me I can't think of anything but how he makes me feel, I don't worry about how I'll pay my bills, I don't fixate on things I can't control, I don't think about anything but touching and being touched, the giving and receiving of pleasure. He makes me feel beautiful and powerful and so very loved, and I could really use a little of that tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, I know the feeling, girl. Hang in there.

    I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now too. It's exhausting, I know, and a soft place to fall would be nice. At least you have it once in a while. Stay strong.