It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Lucy version 2.0

You know how some guys have a "type"?  Well my X has a's everything I'm not.  He told me a hundred times.  He likes em' tiny, blond, blue eyed, and a little on the wholesome side.  Reese Witherspoon with big tits is his ideal.  He even said on a few occasions that he was surprised he ever asked me out, that mostly he felt sorry for me, because I'm not his type. 

Once in the middle of having sex he looked down and me and said, "you know if you went tanning, and dyed your hair blond, and looked totally different you could be really hot."  He was confused by my instant, "get the hell off of me before I castrate you."  You see he had no clue why that was insulting.

So imagine my surprise when I saw a picture of his new live in girlfriend.  Yes people... the man who has only been out of jail for domestic violence with a gun for 3 months found some woman to move in with. And holy hell batman she has KIDS. Plural.   The man who intensly dislikes children, and didn't care enough about his own kids to be a part of their lives on any more than a very base level moved in with a woman who has 3 children.

I won't lie.  I looked her up on Facebook.  Oh Em Gee... it's a total mind fuck.  Excuse the foul language but it's totally deserving in this situation.

We have the same hair color and style.  We are the same height, in fact she's a bit taller according to former Father In Law.  She is about 50 lbs heavier than I am though... she's a larger version of me! We wear the same glasses.  We have the same college degree and career path.  We have the same favorite movie, favorite book/authors.  We both are runners.  We both have several kids.  We both have prominent chins with clefts in the center.

Holy crap people I'm not imagining it... Ethel saw it too.  HE'S REPLACED ME... WITH ME! LUCY VS. 2.0  I'm not sure who should be more creeped out.  Me, because even though I was never his ideal he went out and purposefully found someone as close to me as humanly possible? Or her... because she's his ex wife's doppleganger.  He met her online according to mutual family (they vollunteered this juicy tid bit in an effort to bait me or judge my reaction, I didn't ask where they met)  so that means that he had to wade through other options to purposefully chose my twin.

Creeeeepy if you ask me....especially since his last letter about a year ago said, that he promised he would get back everything that was taken away from him. 

Good lord I wonder if that woman has any idea what she got herself into?


  1. Silly girl there could never be another you ;). But yeah, its creepy. You, for the most part, are rid of him. If I were her....I'd be concerned.

  2. HAHAH that's kind of awesome. Imitation is the best form of flattery, or some shit like that. ;)

    The best part is, you have your man who is SO not your EX man!

  3. I'm guessing she doesn't have quite the same mental constitution as you. I wish her luck - she's gonna need it!

  4. And I'll 3rd QT's comment. The best part being that BLT is SOOOO not anything like the X.

  5. Yeesh. My ex did somewhat the same thing. He briefly dated my ex good friend...who also happens to be a petite (fake) redhead with a lot of the same issues as me. Um...yeah. Didn't go well at all....