It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Getting the kid to talk


I'm so damn frustrated with my oldest.  We've been working with a therapist for over a year and it's still like pulling teeth to get that kid to discuss anything related to feelings.

It's just so hard.  The therapist has made it clear that if Chef doesn't become more forthcoming there is no chance that Chef will get a choice in regards to visitation. Chef will be forced to spend time with X if there is no open dialogue to prove that there is trauma there that needs to be acknowleged and dealt with.

What am I going to do with this kid?  It's all, "I'm fine, and everything is okay. I don't want to talk about it." etc.  I feel like I can only push so hard before Chef will start to shut me out too.  I don't want that to happen.  We have a really good relationship, and I don't want to damage that.

This parenting thing is hard sometimes...


  1. Do you think it might be one of those deals where the harder you try to get it out of her the more she resists? Speaking from experience - that's one of my own more annoying traits. It's not just talking about feelings either - could be anything. Unfortunately, I can't offer any insight into how to get around it either.

  2. Hmmmm... my oldest is like that except at certain points in the day. For instance, she loves to chat at bedtime about all manner of things. She likes to hear my thoughts and feelings and that allows her to feel comfortable sharing her own.

    I hate to hear this. Good luck with her!

  3. What about having her record her thoughts in a journal? Video camera (with no one around but her)? Maybe in a letter to you or the therapist? Or maybe a letter to her dad about how she feels about everything?

    I'm going through that with my youngest...she is the truth about what happened (which I told her) but more so she wants me to take the blame for it all (which I did and door is closed). Just some ideas :)

  4. Tape recorder? I have one you can borrow. I can pick up some tapes for it :)