Ethel sent me an email a few days ago and this was at the bottom: Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile...
I love that! It's so true, and it really speaks to me today. I'm struggling with nearly all of those. Forgiveness? Not happening today. I'm working on the kissing, the loving and the laughing however.
I went to court, all scrubbed clean and ready to be DIVORCED! And I'm not... it was a total joke. First of all I had to read over the settlement and sign it.
Okay, here's the thing. I made an offer to try and avoid going to court. He absolutely refused. His mommy cut the purse strings. He made me the exact same offer, with one tiny addition. I accepted. My lawyer drafted up the paperwork. He refused to sign because he didn't like the way the dates were formatted, how we described the crime he plead guilty to, and a few other ridiculous things. I pay my lawyer to re-draft and resubmit. He signs, but can't send back the paperwork w/o a "special D.O.C. envelope" which we find out is total bull shit. He sends the paperwork in - but he didn't sign all the areas. We pitch a fit at the continued delays (this whole process has taken place over several months) and his lawyer signs for him and returns the papers... FINALLY!
I drive three hours to sign the paperwork, and low and behold he's scribbled notes in the margins. His crime is described as: Harassment with a fire arm, domestic violence against the wife. He scribbled out the words "against the wife" and wrote in "against himself" REALLY? WTF?? He's still sitting in jail believing that he didn't do anything wrong. He's convinced himself and his family that he came to my house, blocked in my car, locked me in, loaded a gun while pointing it at my head and said, "this won't take long"... and he was there to commit suicide. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. He accepts no responsibility - AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHY HE IS STILL REALLY, REALLY DANGEROUS TO ME!! He still believes to this day that I lied, and if I would just tell everyone he was only there to kill himself he wouldn't have to be in prison. WTF is this man's problem? He's a total whack-a-doodle.
So after our good laugh at the fact that the man thinks he plead guilty to domestic violence against himself I continue reading...
Under the section where we divide our meager assets he writes in "except for the washer and dryer, which are on loan from the husband to the wife." Again...WTF?? What does he need with a washer and dryer... in prison? The man doesn't even know how to do his own laundry! When he gets out he's moving in with Mommy. I have the four kids, I need the washer. The only reason he wants it is that he knows it's a 2000.00 dollar set and I don't have the money (you know, being a single mom with four kids and no child support) to buy anything as nice. I LOVE that huge Maytag set, it washes 22 towels or 16 pairs of jeans. Basically I can get all the kids stuff done each week. If I don't have a super sized set I'll never be able to keep up with the laundry.... he knows this... Jackass!!
So fine, I'll give him the washer and dryer. It's not on "loan" for craps sake, but whatever. I'll save up for the next nine months and try to buy one. Then I'll leave this set out in the rain in the back yard until he sends a moving company to pick it up. Maybe I'll toss a nice salmon inside it to rot for good measure.
See...that makes me laugh! But the forgiveness? Not gonna happen any time soon.