It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Time spent apart

I think it's a good thing. It's a healthy thing. I made it clear to BLT that the one thing I've discovered about myself this past year is that I need a certain amount of "me" time. I didn't realize how much I need time alone, or with my girlfriends, out of the house and away from the kids.

I told him that I love him, and that I'm loving the fact that he's here, but that I went more than ten years being told I was selfish or being punished with small cruelties whenever I wanted time away from my X - or God Forbid - away from my children. I need my personal time, and I'll take it now and then. I'm a healthier, happier me. I'm a better mom, and a more interesting person when I get some relaxation and girl time away from the house and kids.

What I love is that BLT totally understands this. He agrees, and he told me pretty much the same thing; that he needs time alone and will be taking it when the mood strikes. That we can consult each other, and be considerate of each other's schedules - but neither one of us is asking for permission.

So today I walked a 5K with my girlfriends and then had a fun lunch before picking up the kids from their Grandparent's house - and BLT took a long drive up to the mountains to the local state park for a nice hike and some photography of the area. We both did our own thing, and we had a great time. We came home very close to the same time eager to share our day with each other. We swapped stories and photos, made dinner, got the kids settled for the night and snuggled down into bed for some "us" time which lead to some very satisfying sex.

It feels so comfortable and exciting at the same time that I can have this kind of relationship. That I can have time to myself without being accused of selfishness. That someone is eager to come home to me to share news of their day. That someone understand my needs, and has similar ones of their own. It feels really good to come home to him.


  1. It's very important in a relationship for each person to not only have alone time, but to feel comfortable in taking it when they need it. It makes for a much healthier, happier couple in my opinion.

  2. I love this! This is also very much related to my blog post for today. Wonderful for you two!