Sometimes I think listening is a lost art form. I know people hear me, but it seems that they only hear a part of what I'm saying. Or they assume facts that I've never shared or said. Or they plain old ignore what I've said. Mostly these days it's my kids... and lets be honest that's what kids, especially teens, do. I get that. It doesn't make it any less annoying though.
BLT and I run into this. He's not trying to be malicious. I know this, but it's one of those annoying communication issues between men and women. In an attempt to be supportive, and because he loves me, he says things like, "I think you're perfect just the way you are." He doesn't hear ME and absorb what I'm feeling when I say, "I'm unhappy with the the way that I am. I want to be healthier. I want to be thinner. I want to feel sexy." His answer is always, "You are sexy" but it's not about how he perceives me. It's about how I feel in my own skin. It's how I feel when were intimate. It's the image I see in the mirror each day.
I've run into this a LOT with my former in-laws. They assume things I haven't said. They don't hear the kids and I when we say that we don't want my X in our lives. They don't hear me when I say that the kids and I are finally happy, that we truly are at home here in this small town, loving our house and the family we've turned into with BLT. They hear what they want. They focus on the minutia and miss the big picture.
Maybe that's just communication in general? Maybe I'm expecting too much? Maybe I'm not being clear? George Bernard Shaw once said that the biggest problem with communication was the impression that it has it taken place. I think he's onto something there.