Raising teens, and tweens is such a joy... and yes, I'm being sarcastic.
My oldest is just being a pain in the ass. The conversation we had tonight was long, and loud. I ended up taking her cell phone away. While I'm holding it a text comes through from a friend. Not really thinking about it I look down...
BOOM baby, just a whole lotta ugliness unleashed about what a horrible mom I am. How much she hates BLT and I, and how we have no right to tell her what to do, and all I should be worried about is that she gets straight A's so I should just butt out of her life. Lovely...
After a while I went back down to her room. I told her: "I love you, unconditionally. But I will not be abused. I will not let you talk to me like this, or treat me like garbage. I did not have children so that I could be your slave. I have expectations of you that you WILL meet. You WILL change your attitude, and you will treat everyone in household with respect. Otherwise I will drive you to school, pick you up in the afternoon and you will have absolutely no life other than school, chores, and homework. You WILL participate in this family, and you WILL be a good role model for the younger kids. If you ever talk to me like that again you'll be grounded so long that you'll have grey hair before you see your friends again."
I told her that I'm it. I'm the only parent she has. I'm the one that works to feed her. I'm the one that supports her. I'm the one that loves her unconditionally. I'm the one who wants what's best for her. I'm the one who sacrifices for her.... out there, in the real world, nobody gives a rats ass about your issues. They want to know what you can do for THEM, not the other way around. I told her that there is a statute of limitations on teenage moodiness and she's just about reached it. After that people stop overlooking your bad behavior as an indicator of teenage angst, and then you know what you are? You're just a bitch... and you don't want to be that kind of girl. You don't really want to be an eye rolling, dismissive, rude, judgemental, pain in every one's ass... because that's not who you really are.
Her answer was that she doesn't try to be rude. My answer? Well you sure as heck aren't trying NOT to be rude now are you... so how about we go at this from another angle. For the foreseeable future you try NOT to be rude and we'll see how that works.
God help me... I'm exhausted. I'm frustrated. I'm at my wits end. I just want to understand what's going on with that kid.