It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Crappy Teachers, and Possession is 9/10th of the Law

First I'm just going to sum up a long and frustrating week by saying that my child has several amazing teachers...and one very lazy, ridiculously ridged one.  My middle child has severe ADD and needs a few modifications to enable her to be successful. She can't be expected to remember what she's supposed to do for all six classes when she gets home.  She just doesn't retain instructions and multi-step processes at all.  She needs written instructions, or a Syllabus for each class.  She needs to be able to take notes in class, and I need the teachers to communicate with me if she's missing several assignments in a row.  Four days before the end of the quarter I find out she's failing three of her six classes.  Why?  She does the work, but she doesn't remember what to turn in, and to whom (if she even remembers to take it back to school, it really is an issue we struggle with all the time.)  They never once contact me until it's too late.  SO...  after lots of blame and finger pointing we are going forward with a 504 plan that will help give her some extra assistance.

Now to the possession part of this frustrating week.  When my ex and I split we had several verbal agreements. In my opinion all of them became null and void when the asshole showed up at my door with a gun.  Now he wants to sit back in his jail cell and pick and choose which of these agreements he wants to observe.  For example we had owned a Maytag duet washer and dryer set, top of the line worth several thousand dollars.  The "verbal agreement" was that the washer and dryer would go with the kids.  Whomever had the kids, got the keep the washer and dryer.  When negotiating the final divorce decree he demanded the return of the washer and dryer.... even though he was in prison, and once getting out of prison he would live with his mother, and the children will NEVER reside with him again.  Okay, fine.  Be an ass.  I won't fight over stuff.  I let him have them.  I cleared out my savings account and bought a new washer and dryer even though I really couldn't afford it.  I followed the letter of law and gave in to every one of his ridiculous demands just so that he would sign the divorce papers and I could get one with my life.   Now, nine months later he wants me to return the X-Box 360.  The children are under the impression that the video game system was bought FOR THEM.  They have spent their own birthday money and allowance on games and accessories.  I've spent my own money on things for the system.  The kids use it every day because it's their video game system, DVD player, and access to Netflicks shows/movies on instant download.  I'm not telling them they have to give it back to their dad...  not gonna happen.  The fact that the jerk-off even asked for it back shows he doesn't care about disappointing his kids.  He's a total douche...  UGH!!

So ya... possession being nine tenths of the law and all that means he can kiss my butt if he thinks I'm taking one more thing away from my kids. He bought it for them, or at least he told them he did...  he's going to honor at least one promise he made whether he likes it or not.


  1. I know you didn't ask for an opinion, but I say give him the XBOX. Go ahead. Give it to him. Just keep all the things you all have bought. Let him choke on it. He craves a fight, I think and he's just sucking around to find one. Karma is on your side and you are doing great! You are the mama though, this is just my opinion based on what you have shared with us. :)

  2. PS. as for the school stuff...document document document. I don't know that you have mentioned too much on how you handle it, but as an educator who has sat in a lot of ARD meetings,
    keep a spiral with a folder pocket and every phone call, conversation and email, keep in there. Don't count on a server not having a "recovery issue" with email especially on their end. Print it all and write any notes on verbal conversations, timed and dated. This log is legal in court and bears a lot of weight. If there is an opportunity to subtly (ie. make sure you take it out at a meeting in front of them)convey that you are doing this, take it. Much luck to you and yours.

  3. Oh how I wish we had not been so gentle with that washer and dryer. Believe me, crayon is a bitch to get off a dryer drum....and don't get me started on a well placed glob of chapstick.... BUT I can't imagine him ever actually USING the washer and dryer to it would've been wasted effort.


    I do hope that keeping the silly piece of technology doesn't give you more trouble than it is worth. I foresee a letter from a lawyer in your future requesting said X-box and a detailed list of accessories and games back....Oh yes, he'd do it. I wonder if Mommy would pay for the lawyer to draft said letter even if it would surely be cheaper to just go by the spoiled son of a bitch another gaming system?

    I better get my angry little self to bed or have some sex. Good grief!

  4. Oh girl... I have no words of advice. Just sending you love, as always.

  5. Wow. Sounds like he's on a major power play. That's so sad, that he'd go to those lengths, without seeming to have any concern for his kids at all.

    I have one word: Douchebag.

  6. Screw 'em. You've given up enough. Draw the line, hold to it.

    You are aware that "No." is a complete sentence, right? I believe that's all you need to say.

    In the mean time, sending thoughts of peace & strength your way.

  7. Definitely go with the 504 - there's also an IEP if your child needs additional resources. My son had an IEP throughout elementary and middle school and now just has a 504. Ask for as many accommodations as you can think of - doesn't mean your daughter has to use them. Pay attention to standardized testing too - the school uses that for class placements and that may be an unfair judgment of your daughter's abilities.

    As for the X-box - keep it - statue of limitations ran out on that.