I would not describe myself as malcontent, but I will be honest and say that I need to practice being content with the life I have built. I need to focus on the positives and stop using phrases like, "except for" and "other than" when I'm describing my life.
I tend to focus on the negative, to get wrapped up in the minutia of day to day life and loose sight of all the fun, amazing, and beautiful things around me. While my blessings are many - so are my stresses, and frequently those things that stress me out seem to over shadow the good things. I don't know why I'm like this. I want to be a positive, happy, self actualized and fulfilled person, and I know that it starts with being aware of all the blessings in my life.
So in no particular order, here are the things that are currently making me happy:
I was able to pay all my bills this month and have a little left over for the savings account.
I have a man who loves me, and some day I might just be brave enough to marry him. If I'm not brave enough, then we'll have a hell of a time living in sin!
I have a great job with tons of personal freedom.
I have a beautiful home to live in. I might even be able to purchase this home in the future if I do things just right.
I have four happy, healthy, headstrong children.
I haven't lost a lick of weight, and even though I'm struggling my man tells me every single day that I'm beautiful and sexy and desirable.
I have true friends who accept me just as I am.
I have six months before the X is out of jail.
One of the things that causes me the most stress are my former in-laws. I'm going to have to draw a line in the sand and stand firm. I let them walk all over me, say things that upset me, and pressure me with money/withholding money for my children. I need to just learn to be firmer with them and stand up for myself. I need to remember those blessings I listed above and keep my in-laws at arms length.
I think that alone will go a long way to helping me feel more content and less stressed out on a daily basis.