It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

God I was a bitch today

I have to admit that I was feeling so put out and bitchy today, I know I wasn't pleasant to be around.

I can blame the heat. Or the fact that my kids called me six times at work screaming and fighting on the phone expecting me to play referee. I can blame my former in-laws for continuing to piss me off. Or the bank for making it impossible for me to get my X off my automobile title without jumping through the most ridiculous steps. (Honestly, why do they need proof of the weight of my car to print a new title with just my name on it? Why the hell does how much it weighs affect anything?)

I suppose I have plenty of fairly legitimate reasons to feel pissed off at the world, and I think in some ways it was a combination of all those things. But it wasn't any one thing that triggered this enormous melt down.

I saw myself in one of those bank camera / tv things today and I look fat. Like REALLY fat. I've gained back 20 pounds of the 60 I lost several years ago. I can't believe I'm letting myself go... I'm slipping back to that hideous mess I was. And you know what? I was pissed at myself.

Then add in the phone calls, the heat, the bullshit with the bank and POW... mega bitch mode kicks in.

I have had a headache since two o'clock this afternoon. I need to just take a cool shower and go to bed. Maybe I'll be nicer to myself and everyone else in the morning light.


  1. Those cameras/mirrors are my WORST! I never notice them on days I am looking good but the ONE day I am exhausted, looking terrible there will suddenly be a mirror or a camera EVERYWHERE!!!!!

    Maybe look again when you not so pissed :)

    I know that feeling though - the fight to claim my identity and my stuff from my ex was exhausting!

  2. I was a bitch yesterday too. It was an insanely stressful day and the onset of Aunt Flo just made it all worse.

    Hopefully today will be better - for us both!

  3. Hope today runs a little smoother for you. Sometimes it's just not fair how all the shit decides to hit at the same time!

  4. Sending you love! I get it! Thankfully, it passes.

  5. sleep helps...definitely. Though I also periodically try liquor just to make sure I'm wrong about that. :)