It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.





Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I don't know how to get rid of all this anger.

Every time I read that vignette my Chef wrote I actually see red.  I've stopped crying every time I read it - but this intense anger is almost over powering.  I don't know what to do with all this hate.  I don't know how to get past this one. I've worked so hard to get through the fear and anger over what my X did to the kids and I when he brought that gun to my house....  this is different though.  This feels so much more intense.

I knew in my head that my kids had been damaged by what my X did. But reading those words, written in Chef's own voice is physically painful.  My throat starts to close up, and I actually feel my blood pressure rising.  It just brought home, on such an elemental level, what she's been through.

It's almost like I could get over what was done to me... but what he's done to my kids is so much worse.  I don't know how to let this go.

4 comments:

  1. I hate this for you and especially for the kids.

    Hugs are all I can offer.

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  2. I don't know sweetie. Just know that I'm here for ya. Should we go to the range?

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  3. Lets go clubbing! Drinks are on me.
    I'll bring the 'swizzle stick'.

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  4. Are you still in therapy sweets? I think this is a question for a professional.

    <3

    ReplyDelete