It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I don't know how to get rid of all this anger.

Every time I read that vignette my Chef wrote I actually see red.  I've stopped crying every time I read it - but this intense anger is almost over powering.  I don't know what to do with all this hate.  I don't know how to get past this one. I've worked so hard to get through the fear and anger over what my X did to the kids and I when he brought that gun to my house....  this is different though.  This feels so much more intense.

I knew in my head that my kids had been damaged by what my X did. But reading those words, written in Chef's own voice is physically painful.  My throat starts to close up, and I actually feel my blood pressure rising.  It just brought home, on such an elemental level, what she's been through.

It's almost like I could get over what was done to me... but what he's done to my kids is so much worse.  I don't know how to let this go.


  1. I hate this for you and especially for the kids.

    Hugs are all I can offer.

  2. I don't know sweetie. Just know that I'm here for ya. Should we go to the range?

  3. Lets go clubbing! Drinks are on me.
    I'll bring the 'swizzle stick'.

  4. Are you still in therapy sweets? I think this is a question for a professional.