It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Whatever you say can, and will, be used against you...

Pariah: Adj. 1. An Outcast 2. A person to be avoided 3. Your former daughter in law who has moved on with her life and is living with a man other than your son.

Yep - that about covers it. Since informing my former in-laws that BLT and I are seriously involved and living together I have not heard a word from them. Seeing as how my former father in law / uncle was in constant communication up until this point it's a noticeable difference.

Monkey Pants' tuition for Kindergarten was past due, so I made a friendly "hey, in case you didn't know" telephone call and left them a message. They chose not to call back. I did receive a check in the mail - no note attached or anything. I'm being avoided - and you know what? It's FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!!

Since I've already pissed them off it won't get any worse when they find out that I talked to my lawyer yesterday and we are going forward with requesting the judge extend the no contact order for the children for another year. It expires soon, and B.S.C (Bat Shit Crazy) ex husband wrote the children letters stating that he was working on getting permission for them to visit him. ARE YOU NUTS? Rhetorical question of course. There is no way I'm standing by and letting my four young children visit him in prison. No way, No how, Never going to happen.

Also - this would give us 7 months after his release to make sure he's going to any court ordered counseling, parole, whatever that might be required of him before he can petition the court for visitation. I think this is a good thing, he has to earn back the right to visit his kids - that's one of the consequences for his behavior. It's my job to make sure those children are protected and I will do that to the very best of my ability whether the in-laws like it or not.

So from here on out I figure it's truth time. No more avoiding them, no more discreet lies to try and salvage some king of relationship with them. I need to fully move on with my life, and that means being honest with myself and others. I don't need their approval or respect. I'll be cordial for the sake of the kids so that visits with the grandparents aren't too awkward, but that's it.

Whew...this is rather liberating! Now that they are avoiding me things are so much easier all around. This should have happened months ago!


  1. If you have a magic cure for Ex's leaving you alone, please let me know!

    Glad you are continuing to make progress.

    PS- Love the new look!

  2. Min,

    I suppose a hit man is out of the question? LOL, kidding of course - but if anyones Ex deserves a base ball bat to the knees it's yours!

  3. My ex has no contact with us and as hard as it is for the kids some days it is GREAT!

    I dont have the constant abuse and drama he brings and my kids dont have to deal with the emotional issues he forces them to deal with!

    There is alot to be said for no contact!

  4. Congrats! That was a big step you took. Hope it makes taking the next steps easier for you.

  5. Sweet. I think this is a great first step in establishing your new relationship with them. crossing my fingers that the no contact order will get extended.