It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


I feel anxious today and I don't know why. I woke up at four a.m., on the first day in several months that I've had the luxury of sleeping in. I wasn't able to get back to sleep - and without BLT here to talk to I'm finding myself full of nervous energy and the feeling of being "unsettled".

There's something comforting about having BLT here that calms me. His even breathing when we're laying here together in the dark helps me relax at night. His warm hand on the small of my back that makes me feel safe. Without him here I feel like an essential part of what keeps me grounded is missing.

On some level that makes me feel weak and slightly pathetic.

He's in Arizona for the next week on business and I'm going to miss him terribly. I don't want to assume that the upcoming week is going to be terrible...self fulfilling prophecy and all that. However I have to take the kids to visit the former In Laws, I have to start my counseling soon, and I'm waiting to hear about the Restraining Order... so the potential for stress and anxiety is high.

This may be a week for chocolate therapy.

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