It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Monday, April 12, 2010

I was Ninja Kissed!

Seriously...kinda out of the blue a guy laid one on me. He was pretty cute, but WAY too young, as in "once I'm done playing with your nice young manly bits I'll tuck you in and read you a bed time story before I turn on the night light" kinda young.

Okay not THAT young...but at least 10 years younger than I am... I would estimate no more than about 23.

I went to the Roller Derby on Saturday. I know, I know, what great story doesn't start with the sentence, "so I'm at the roller derby..."? Anyway, there I am rooting for the Throttle Rockets, hehehe, and a group of three young guys asks if the seats next to me are available. My group shifts down and they sit.

They were fun, and the couple behind me from Australia was hysterical, and we're all drinking beer and having a good time. We decide to take some group photos and BAM, the before mentioned young cutie turns and plants one on me - tongue and all.

Shocked the shit out of me!

Then the funny stuff went down, lol. He looks at my left hand

Cutie: "I see you're not married"
Me: "most definitely NOT"
Cutie: "ahhh divorced...nice..."

At this point I decide to play with the poor dear just a bit... I know it's not nice....

Me: "my X is in jail for trying to shoot me in the head"
Cutie: "shit...when does he get out?"
Me: "next year".
Cutie: "oh, plenty of time for fun then!"
Me: "I suppose there could be"

At this point Cutie is looking at the pictures on my camera to see if they got one when he was planting the lip lock on me. He sees a photo of my kids.

Cutie: "you have KIDS?" (he eyes me up and down)
Me: "yep, I have four of them"
Cutie: " (GULP) guess we're done kissin' then..."
Me: "yes we are"

LMAO!!! a little bit later he scootched back over by me and said, "hey I would totally have asked you for your number, cause you're HOT, but uh... four, I mean that's a lot of kids... "

I thanked him for the compliment and let him know the cute blond one row down and four seats over had been eyeing him all night, she was a much better bet. LOL....

About forty five minutes later Cutie was kicked out of the arena for being too loud and swearing (I'm not sure how that's possible at the Roller Derby of all places) and as he was leaving he's swearing a blue streak, removing his shirt, and waving it around like a total moron.

This is why I have an age requirement for all my playmates... lol... I prefer them a bit older and wiser thank you. I'm not interested in training, and even less so in mothering them, yuck.

That was absolutely a first for me. I have never had some unknown guy Ninja Kiss me out of the blue! I guess it does a girls ego good and all, but that poor kid had no chance in hell from the get go. My sweet, sexy BLT is all the MAN I need, and he's more than worth the wait. Sorry Cutie...better luck next time!


  1. I love this!

    And, I can totally relate to the "You have FOUR kids!!!". But it is nice to then hear the "wow, you look great." ;)

    Glad you had a good time. Roller Derby. Who knew?

  2. That is freakin' hilarious! What a story!