Things I learned this week

Just some little kernels of knowledge to pass on....

1. Do not ever, EVER, try to run four miles in a thong. Just don't.

2. Grown women should not wear any of the following: Betty Boop apparel, sparkly red "Dorothy" shoes, over sized hair bows, bedazzled blazers, or pants with appliqued pink flamingos on them. Yes, I saw all of these in the past week or so...and yes, each one was horrifying. I repeat, Just Don't Do It.

3. Big girls excel at Roller Derby. Hip-Check anyone?

4. I am not a nice person when you take away my sugar. I hope my children and co-workers survive the 2 week low carb/low sugar diet I'm on to kick start my metabolism and try to shed some of this last 10 lbs. If nobody hears from me for a few days I'm sure someone bonked me on the head and stuffed me in the trunk of my car.

5. Don't borrow a 10 year olds iPod to use when you run unless you really love hearing every Hannah Montana song ever recorded, and few renditions of those songs by the Chipmunks just for good measure. This technique will however increase your run speed since you desperately want to get home and make it stop!!

6. Sometimes when you ask for help you actually get it. Who knew?!

7. Yes, one person may have the power to royally fuck up your life....but another person, with three little words, "I love you", can make it all feel right again.

8. Sometimes children see a situation so clearly, and accept it as such in an uncomplicated way. Things we adults have to muck up and complicate with ulterior motives, second guesses, and our own personal baggage. I want to be more like my children sometimes.