Remember the guy I was talking about in an earlier post? The one several thousand miles away that I'm pretty head over heals crazy about. Well we shall refer to him as the BLT. This is a nick name my best friend whom I shall call Ethel, as she is the Ethel to my Lucy, bestowed upon him when I told her that he gets up and makes me BLT's and lets me eat them in bed whenever I see him. Really they are the most divine BLT's with Avocado that you could ask for. A coworker once joked, "BLT, that must stand for Boyfriend with Large...." and I got a knowing grin. LOL, that's not what I meant, but hey, I doubt he would complain were I to say "yeppers that's what that stands for" insert cheesy wink here.
So the BLT and I were having a long talk and he informed me, in a firm but loving manner that it's painful for him to see me have these nightmares. He cares for me no matter what, but he really wants me to get some help if we are going to try and spend any more time in each other's beds. Not sleeping, waking up screaming... not something he wants to see me go through. Plus, that man LOVES his sleep, lmao. He joked once that I would be perfect if he could just train me to sleep through the night.
So between Ethel naggin' at me and the BLT jumping on the "get yourself some help" bandwagon I broke down and called my shrink. This is the same lady I've seen for other issues related to my divorce and struggles I've had. She knows me, and she agreed to see me on a sliding scale since I'm a broke-as-hell-oh-my-god-found-a-five-in-the-wash-and-now-I-can-get-gas kind of single mom.
I think it'll be good. I need to work all this shit in my head out. I need to find away to get control again. Ethel is right, and the BLT had several very good points, and it was all said in love, I know that.
Ugh I hate talking about my feelings... wish me luck!