Getting What I Asked For

In so many good ways I've gotten what I asked the Cosmos for.  I have a man who loves me. I have a stunning sex life.  My kids are happy and settled.  I have an amazing vintage cottage in a beautiful little town to live in.  I have steady employment that I enjoy. 

However, I've also gotten some of the things I asked for that turned out not so good.  See, I just kept repeating "All I want is for him to leave us alone. I wish he would ignore us, and act like we don't exist." Well I got my wish, but now I understand that I might have spoken too soon.  See... what I should have said is that I don't want to have to spend any time with him.  I don't want him to use my kids to hurt me.  I do however wish that he had to pay child support. Raising four kids alone is really hard.

My youngest needs $800.00 worth of dental care immediately.  I can't even ask my douche of an Ex-Husband for help because of the restraining orders, and because there is no child support ordered by the family courts yet I can't even send a request for help to him through lawyers.  I am totally on my own here - as usual.  I applied for Care Credit - a line of credit for medical bills and was denied due to bad credit.  My nearly 1/2 a million dollar home went into foreclosure when the X went to jail.  My once great credit is destroyed.  I can't even get a high interest credit card at this point.

I humbled myself and asked my former in-laws for help.  Even though they have a crap-load of money they declined, in a very snotty fashion to help out.  All their promises about doing anything to help the kids was a total lie.  They want to punish me by denying my kids help... it's the same shit it always was.  They have money - and they use it to control and punish the people around them. Their grandchildren are just casualties in this whole messy war that's been declared against me because I had the nerve to walk away from their precious boy.

So I don't know what to do.  I'm taking some designer handbags to a resale shop... the owner said she would be interested in them.    I have one last jewelry item I'll pawn...  and a good 50 dollars worth of books to sell to the used book store.  That gets me a little closer to my goal. 

I guess what burns me the most is that my in laws would have given my X the money in a heart beat...  no matter what it's for.  A new Xbox 360 and games? Done.  All new clothing post jail? Done.  A new car? Done.  Money for a lawyer? Done.   But they won't give it or loan it to me for our 6 year old's teeth.  Just to be cruel.

I guess that will teach me to be careful what I ask for...