In the past I've been one to rush towards the holiday season with open arms. I was that annoyingly chipper woman with her tree up and her entire house decorated within a few days of Thanksgiving. I attended every craft bazaar I could find. I baked cookies and sang carols with the best of them.
This year I'm just not feelin' it. I've finished up my holiday shopping, but I just left the gifts in their bags and hid them up in the attic. I just can't get up any ambition. I have no desire to wrap gifts or put up a tree. I'm not in the mood for any of it.
It's not that I'm necessarily depressed, I just don't have any holiday spirit. I feel a little sad, but mostly frustrated. I'm upset with the In-Laws still and all our holiday traditions are in the toilet. Nothing is the same as it used to be... and I'm not sure what to do with ourselves.
Last year it had only been about 12 weeks since the incident happened and Christmas passed in a total blur. I don't even remember Christmas morning. I just got out of bed and tried it make it through the day. This year I'm present and I want to enjoy the holiday, I just need to figure out how to get myself into gear.
I guess the month is young...there's still time for the spirit of the season to inspire me.