It's not for the faint of heart.

Welcome to my slightly silly, often odd, and mostly messy life.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Watching things crumble

You know what it's like when you drive past a car accident and you just HAVE to look? How you know it will upset you, but you can't pull your eyes away?

That's kind of what it feels like watching Fred and Ethel struggle through their marital issues and now a trial separation. Since Ethel is my bestest of best friends, my soul sister no less, I am participating on a peripheral level. I love them both like family and it hurts to see them hurting each other.

Well... let's be honest people. Fred is the major issue here, he says he wants his wife - but he can't stop participating in inappropriate behaviors with other women. There have been lies, and half truths for years, as well as a total refusal to get to therapy and do the work it takes to rebuild the lost trust.

I wish I had the words to ease their pain. I wish I was smarter, or more relationship savvy - but the truth is I failed at making my own marriage work. I have no business giving anyone else advice, except to say that you can find happiness after divorce. That I do know.

Speaking of things crumbling - on a personal note, I get to be hauled back into court by the X. At the last minute my lawyer received an email from the most expensive divorce lawyer in town. He's now representing the X (AGAIN) and they filed for an extension until November for the judge to hear my request to continue the restraining order against the X for my children. They apparently are preparing their "rebuttal arguments" and need more time.

So once again my character will be drug through the mud and I need to prove that I'm a good mother, and that he is a dangerous and obsessed man who has refused all form of counseling while in prison for trying to shoot me.

When and how did this become my life? Please someone tell me that there are good marriages still out there.


  1. I am so sorry that x is dragging this out again.

  2. How the fuck can the courts even consider listening to this man after what he has done!?!?! If you look to the east, aim just a little north of I-90 in western NY, you might actually see my mouth hanging open with a very "WTF??" look on my face.


    Props to you too for supporting your bestest friend. She's gonna need a shoulder to cry on and it's a good thing you can be there for her.

  3. Such an ugly thing divorce.... I know first hand how lawyers can change things.. my ex and I were going to "work things out civilly" and then her mom got her a lawyer... Also the most expensive... things went down from there... I hope they can come to terms so that the lawyer doesn't get most of everything... "Lawyers" Leaches...

  4. *sigh*

    Keep on lookin' up, sista. All that you can do for Ethel is demonstrate that survival and even happiness is possible.

    She has her own journey. Hold her hand and send her love.

  5. I love you Lucy! You are doing way more for me than you can imagine and I know it is frustrating at times. Hell, I frustrate myself ;).

    We are all gonna get through this. You hold me up and I'll hold you up. Back to back baby. I wish I could say that the lawyers won't make any difference but all we can do is wait and see and then go from there yet again.

    The x is a jackwagon.