Reciprocity
— n , pl -ities
1. reciprocal action or relation
2. a mutual exchange of commercial or other privileges
[C18: via French from Latin reciprocus reciprocal ]
I've been thinking a bit about this fancy little word for the past few days. See, it all started because a friend of over 20 years recently informed me that she would not be able to attend my Bridal Shower because... get this...
It's a doozy...
SHE HAS TO COOK, AND CLEAN HER HOUSE, SO HER LIVE IN WASTREL OF A BOYFRIEND CAN HOST WRESTLE-MANIA THAT NIGHT.
Yes folks I am getting ditched at my Bridal Shower so her useless, a-hole of a boyfriend doesn't have to clean up his own home, or feed his own friends. Not to mention that he can't possibly manage to watch their two children while he and the Bro's are watching grown men in UnderRoos oil up and swing each other around by the crotch.
I'm sure you can tell by my pleasant tone and turn of phrase that I'm upset. I'm downright pissed to be exact. I feel really let down, and I'm just shocked that she's not going to be there for me. BLT and Ethel both knew right away what it was. It's not just disappointment at one of my oldest friends bailing out of my shower it's the fact that if the roles were revered I would move heaven and Earth to be there for her shower. I would call in favors for baby sitting if I had to. I would pay a house cleaner if it was really necessary (but really ... do you think any of those guys is giving her china cabinet the white glove once over? I highly doubt it.) And I would tell the ol' boys to order some pizza, and BYOB if they want drinks. I would NEVER blow her off for something so trivial.
And that's what hurts. It's not a priority to her. You hope that if you are a good friend, when it counts your friends will be there for you as well. In this instance there is no reciprocity and she doesn't even get that I'm insulted. Keeping that lazy, good for nothing jack-wagon from bitching at her is a higher priority than celebrating with me, my daughters, and all our nearest and dearest friends.
Honestly I'm not sure how I get over this one. Maybe it sounds silly to the rest of you? I admit that BLT doesn't think it's as big of a deal as I do - but I feel so totally insulted. I told Ethel that the next time this person invites me over to do anything I'll have to tell her that I can't attend because there is a Hillbilly Hand Fishin' marathon on TLC I just can't miss....
Frustrated,
Lucy
I keep thinking that she just can't rock the boat over there. That if they aren't fighting she can keep telling everyone that things are getting better. But the only way not to fight is to just keep giving him whatever he wants. That realization makes me sad for her.
ReplyDeleteMostly the situation over there kinda wears me out. Its like I can't feel much either way anymore and I'm kinda getting to the point of apathy over it. Then I feel bad because peeps hung on so long for me.... and then I feel angry because she isn't honest about it when we can all see it AND she never pulled punches for me...
So yes. She has chosen the priority. And yes, it is freakin insulting. BUT I think it is the only choice that keeps her world intact right now. KWIM?
BUT more bridal shower goodies for us.
At the end of the day though you love her and eventually you'll forgive it.
I'm sorry.
-Ethel