Little Annoyances

I'm having one of those weeks where everything annoys me. In no particular order I am irritated as hell by:

My X

My Former In Laws

The Cost of Gas

My Financial Worries

My Landlords Raising My Rent 200.00 per month

The Royal Wedding  (I just couldn't care less and I'm tired of seeing it all over the TV)

My BFF's soon to be Ex Husband... man he's high on the list actually...

My Slow Weight Loss (I'm fairly close to my goal weight and it's coming off slower than I would like)

My Idiot Dogs

My X - ya he was already mentioned, but damn he irritates me so much I have to give him another slot on the list.

Add to all of this I have insomnia and my boobs are SUPER sore this week.  I have no idea why, but I want to crawl out of my skin.  The girls be hurtin!  I'm sure it's a combo of stress and hormones. 

I'm sure all of this annoyance will pass. It always does.  I tend not to hold onto things for too long.  Until it does pass however I highly recommend that everyone just avoid me like the plague.  I'm really cranky and I have the distinct impression that I have no sense of humor at the moment.  My poor kids... and BLT too.  They are all just giving me a wide berth this week.

Getting What I Asked For

In so many good ways I've gotten what I asked the Cosmos for.  I have a man who loves me. I have a stunning sex life.  My kids are happy and settled.  I have an amazing vintage cottage in a beautiful little town to live in.  I have steady employment that I enjoy. 

However, I've also gotten some of the things I asked for that turned out not so good.  See, I just kept repeating "All I want is for him to leave us alone. I wish he would ignore us, and act like we don't exist." Well I got my wish, but now I understand that I might have spoken too soon.  See... what I should have said is that I don't want to have to spend any time with him.  I don't want him to use my kids to hurt me.  I do however wish that he had to pay child support. Raising four kids alone is really hard.

My youngest needs $800.00 worth of dental care immediately.  I can't even ask my douche of an Ex-Husband for help because of the restraining orders, and because there is no child support ordered by the family courts yet I can't even send a request for help to him through lawyers.  I am totally on my own here - as usual.  I applied for Care Credit - a line of credit for medical bills and was denied due to bad credit.  My nearly 1/2 a million dollar home went into foreclosure when the X went to jail.  My once great credit is destroyed.  I can't even get a high interest credit card at this point.

I humbled myself and asked my former in-laws for help.  Even though they have a crap-load of money they declined, in a very snotty fashion to help out.  All their promises about doing anything to help the kids was a total lie.  They want to punish me by denying my kids help... it's the same shit it always was.  They have money - and they use it to control and punish the people around them. Their grandchildren are just casualties in this whole messy war that's been declared against me because I had the nerve to walk away from their precious boy.

So I don't know what to do.  I'm taking some designer handbags to a resale shop... the owner said she would be interested in them.    I have one last jewelry item I'll pawn...  and a good 50 dollars worth of books to sell to the used book store.  That gets me a little closer to my goal. 

I guess what burns me the most is that my in laws would have given my X the money in a heart beat...  no matter what it's for.  A new Xbox 360 and games? Done.  All new clothing post jail? Done.  A new car? Done.  Money for a lawyer? Done.   But they won't give it or loan it to me for our 6 year old's teeth.  Just to be cruel.

I guess that will teach me to be careful what I ask for...

I need a vacation from my life...

Anyone want to join me somewhere warm? I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. I've been working a lot, and with the Easter holiday tossed in there I've run myself ragged.

There is no rest for the wicked though. I have a full work week ahead of me as well as a doctor appt for Lady Bug, an appt to get my snow tires removed, a get together at my girlfriend's house, a therapy appointment, a sleepover at my house for my 3 nieces, and I REALLY need to get my ass in gear and exercise more regularly!

Whew... I want to say "the hell with it" and run off to some tropical island for a week of sleeping in, adult beverages, and dirty hotel sex!

Conversations with the kid...

Inspired by QT Mama, I bring you "Conversations With The Kid".  A collection of recent conversations with my 8 year old.

TNT:  Grandma... is Papa or BLT here tonight?

Grandma:  No honey, it's just us girls tonight

TNT: COOL... we can watch movies, hang out in in our underwear... *giggle* AND GET TATTOOS!
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TNT: Mommy I don't want to eat the tomatoes, I don't like them.

Mom:  Come on, they're good for you...  They'll make your boobies grow!

TNT: I don't want boobies... I just want nipples!
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BLT:  Come here and brush your hair, you look like a little hobo!

TNT: I'm not a Hobo.  I'm Home Free
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Lady in the grocery store:  Oh what a cute stuffed kitty you have there!

TNT:  Don't stare at her, she's going Comando today!!


Yes folks... my kid is weird.

Things you never want to see at the Goodwill

The other day Ethel and I were joking about things you just don't want to see for sale at the thrift store. It got me thinking of some of my recent bargain hunting trips and the truly odd, useless, and just yucky stuff you can find. 

Sex Toys, Lube, Massage Oils and other adult play things - Really this is just self explainatory.

Lingerie - Scary, but we actually see this all the time.  Like anyone wants used skivvies, just EWW.

BAAAAD Art - While it's true beauty is in the eye of the beholder, some stuff is just so ugly it's trash worthy, no way around it. 

Dot matrix printers - yes I actually saw one.  I mean who is going to use that?

Depends or Toiletries - these items aren't that expensive.  I can't imagine buying half a bottle of lotion that's God only knows how old, or a package of six tampons.  And used combs and hairbrushes? Another YUCK, thank you very much.

Mismatched shoes - yep, I was in a small, independantly owned thrift store once and they were selling bags of mis matched shoes.  HUH?  I mean, if I was one legged maybe that would be quite the bargain, but as I have been blessed with two feet I kind of like to wear shoes in a matched set!

Last, but not least...  Yes I found this once...

Dentures.  Yep...  someone else's teeth.   They were in a little box.  I don't think whoever priced the box realized they were in there, because the dope fiends that price things at my local thrift stores would charge WAY more than the 2.99 they were asking for the box had they known there were some primo canines and molars inside.  I mean, they ask five bucks for a shirt from Walmart that only cost six dollars brand new... teeth with some nice yellow staining have to be worth at least 10.00 right?

A Letter to Ethel...

My dearest best friend.  I am afraid.  The recent events between you and Fred frighten me.  I'm worried about so many things, it's hard to figure out where your issues start and mine end.  It's all mixed up in my head... his issues, your issues.  I know your husband is not the same person as the man I was married to... but I see so many similarities it's just scary.  I want to fly instantly into protection mode.

I'm scared you'll be hurt - emotionally and physically.

I'm scared your kids will be witness to the ugliness that seems to be brewing just under the surface of this whole mess waiting to explode all over the place.

I'm scared that financial pressures will push you to make decisions that are not good for any of you.

I'm scared that you don't know your true beauty and worth.

I'm scared of saying the wrong thing.

I'm scared of making it worse.

I'm scared of change.

Even more though I am scared of not seeing things change.

I love you,
Lucy

The Lawyer and the Landlord

I hired a new lawyer today.  She's pretty fierce -  kinda scary actually.  She's perfect!  She also understands that I'm broke, and she asked for a micro-scopic retainer.   We've decided that our best course of action at this point is inaction.  We've receive no summons to appear in court - the Order of Protection for the kids is in full effect still, and I have full custody with no change in sight.  We are not going to do a thing.  I don't want anything from him other than to be left alone - so we will wait and see how he proceeds.  Should I be contacted again by his slimy dirt bag lawyer then my council will take over.  Should we receive a summons we will respond accordingly.

I feel good about this tactic.  You see my X makes lots, LOTS of threats and noise... but he only acts on a quarter of what he spews forth.  So there is a good chance that he's doing just that, making noisy threats.  If it becomes more than that then we have a plan of attack and my lawyer knows what my end goals are in regards to the kids.  So I'm totally broke now, all of my meager savings went into the retainer...but it was worth it.  A fresh set of eyes on my case, a solid plan, and someone located closer to home to handle everything.  WHEWWWW is that a load off my mind.

I'm happy to report that the yearly inspection with my landlord was a success.  My rent went up 200.00 since she found out BLT moved in, and honestly she had lowered it for me when I was raising four kids on a single income. That increase is going to be hard on the budget, but there's nothing we can do about it.  So the new lease is signed and we got permission to put raised garden beds in the back yard.  The kids and I are looking forward to getting these in as soon as possible.  I would love to get some fruits and veggies planted, as well as sunflowers and some herbs for cooking.

It's been a good couple of days, but exhausting ones.  I ended up working on Sunday to get caught up on some big orders at work.  I'm ready for a weekend... and it's only Monday!