I know you're sad.
I know you're hurting and you want to try and save your marriage.
I know that you're self esteem has been beaten and battered down so hard that you can't see your own beauty and worth.
I know you want to trust him, even though he has done nothing over the past decade to deserve that trust.
But what I know more than anything else is that you deserve better. I get so pissed off when he hurts you. I get so angry that he makes you feel like you're crazy. I don't believe his stories, I don't believe he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I don't believe this is healthy for any of you. I worry about your children and the example they see of how people in a relationship treat each other.
I worry that you still sleep with him, knowing he may not be faithful to you. Even if it's just emotional affairs (which I don't believe, it's more than that). He hurts you, and you still give that part of yourself to him. I can't even fathom that this is healthy for you.
I love you.
I support you.
I'm here for you in every way. Be strong. Believe in yourself. Lean on me.
As man who has intimate familiarity with "emotional affairs", its all the same and just as damaging as a physical affair. Some might argue, and I might concur, that an emotional affair is worse. At physical can be just that, purely carnal, however an emotional adds a piece that is far deeper and longer lasting. In either case its just plain wrong. We get caught up in society's view of cheating based upon "law" and what is provable.
ReplyDeleteI'm just so damn tired. I think sometimes you go on doing the things because you've always done them. You even think you are happy because that is just how it has been for so long and you think "well, I'm not miserable ALL THE TIME so I must be happy". Well, happiness is so much more than the absence of misery isn't it? I realize I've just been getting by with small bits of joy like a sick fad diet.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'll need you to let me cry on your shoulder in the coming weeks.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
ReplyDeleteIt's tough watching a friend go through something as difficult as this.