This is a learning process, this learning to let go thing. In the past my not-so-nice X wasn't exactly nurturing. When I had Strep Throat and I needed him to take the kids to the dentist his answer was, "Jesus, I don't even know where their dentist is..." Okay father of the year, never mind, I guess I'll deal with it on my own while I feel like death.
It was more than nice, it was down right amazing, to have BLT take a day off of work to take care of me while I have this stomach bug. I apparently picked up a NASTY bacterial infection sometime in the past couple weeks and it's been sitting in my lower intestine building up enough of it's vile little friends to attack my system and kick my ass big time!! I've never thrown up so violently in my life.
BLT - being the exceptional man that he is - cooked for me, cleaned my house, took care of my kids, went grocery shopping and brought me back Gatorade and Crackers. He rubbed my head, told me I was gorgeous, and did the laundry. He took my kids to preschool and picked them up again, and was in general my hero.
And you know what? I felt totally guilty the entire time. I kept apologizing. I was sorry for being sick, sorry I was disgusting and I kept making our bathroom smell like vomit, sorry for not being able to make dinner, sorry the kids were...well kids. It was so hard to watch him taking care of everyone and it wasn't him making me feel bad. It's my own hang up. He never once complained. In fact all he said was, "Baby, stop apologizing. I know you would do the same for me." Never a complaint or a big sigh or an obnoxious eye roll.
He makes it impossible not to love him.
You have yourself a keeper there! And really, try not to feel guilty for letting him help you out. I'm sure you'll find a great way to tell him thanks!
ReplyDeleteAre you uncomfortable looking at yourself? I ask because, these (sans the sickies) are all things you do everyday. I'm guessing no one apologizes to you.
ReplyDeleteSmile, mama. You are living the wonderful. Accept and love back.
Sweetie, look in his eyes and give him one big HUGE thank you from us and the bottom of your well deserving heart.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you have found this man who sees how beautiful you are inside and out. Someone who truly appreciates and cares for you and isn't afraid to show it. For too many years I saw you unappreciated and disrespected slowly loosing yourself and your vibrance. Enjoy this and yes, thank him and ACCEPT that you deserve to be loved like this.
ReplyDeleteThere are good people out there who will treat you right. I'm so glad you found one.
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